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Maybe I Should Talk to Someone

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I went to the doctor's office the other day for a new ailment that had come up. Since entering my 40's that seems to be happening more frequently than I would like. At the end of my appointment, my doctor asked if the new lower dosage of my Prozac was still helping me cope with life. I recently saw her when I came for my yearly medication review, so I knew this wasn't just a casual question to wrap up the end of my visit. It’s a small town, and your physician knows more about you than you reveal in their office.   When I saw her last I thought I was doing well. I was managing my stress better, making better choices regarding what to give a f*ck about and what not to give a f*ck about (more on that another time). Now my life has completely turned on its head and I feel like I am treading water. I would prefer not to up my meds every time something new comes up, but with this specific issue I am going to need a pill, a life raft, and an occasional shot of Fireball. Her sugges...

New Roots

The theme of this blog is about books, but it is also about growth. I thought my first post would be about the former and not the latter, but life works differently than planned sometimes.  Dinner was a little bit different tonight. Not the food, but the company. Sitting at the dining room table was my husband of 20 years, J, and his girlfriend, N. The conversation is easy going and she and I are both laughing at something J does that drives us crazy. Oddly enough, she and I consider each other friends and we have bonded in a weird way over this whole process. Accepting what never was is so freeing. I don’t think I have been this happy in many years. Even J can see the change in me. J and I never really fit together. We grew to love each other, but not in the way anyone would consider the kind of love to make a marriage last. I am proud to say that we made it almost 20 years and it ended on a positive note.  I lie here in the bed we shared thinking about all of the things we d...